1 - Wedding Ceremony

6/2/09

Hard to believe it is June already (appropriately the traditional wedding month).

Well, the downhill slide honestly does not begin just yet; we have a little spot of uphill to go and then the slippery slope can commence:

I was all packed and ready to head to the boutique hotel where we were getting married on its private beach. I was traveling several hours by car, and DH2 had stayed at his parents and knew I was driving somewhere I had never been. Since I had not heard from him since the night before, it WAS our wedding day (God only knows where he had been or what he had been doing the night before) and he had been precisely clear that he would be available by phone in case I got lost driving in this new terrain, I placed that "Happy Wedding Day" shout-out phone call (even though I had yet to hear from him). **voicemail**

No, I didnt really need anything and no I wasnt lost, but he did not know that. Nope, no answer from Mr. Thoughtful. So, I continued on my way, trying not to let it bother me as my head was swimming with things to do, things not to forget, things I wish I could forget, and still no return phone call. Almost to my destination, he finally found time to return my call, and I think this is the very first time I can remember consciously (although it had happened a million times before I am sure)holding my tongue and pretending not to notice inconsiderations or things that bugged me to "save the day," to continue smooth waters in this downward eddy, to play nice. So, when I answered that call, I put on the face of joy, excitement, wide-eyed enthusiasm for a relationship I was not even really looking forward to so much.

The day progressed as I checked into this beautiful Italian tile, massive floral arrangements, humble service at every muscle twitch hotel, was upgraded to a TWO bedroom suite on the water, and felt my spirits buoyed. I received flowers (not from DH2), bottles of champagne and special treats, wrapped gifts and many phone calls from family and friends, well-wishers all wishing us well, excited for us and our impending new life. The day continued on and improved slowly but surely with my mood in fervent tow (the champagne did not hurt). I had a long bubble bath while chatting with my friends, a few tears here and there, the luxury of hair (which I did not like) and makeup done for me, and my beautiful flower bouquet arrived - the only thing in the wedding which I had ordered specifically and had set in my heart what they would look like. And they arrived and were perfect...sigh. How easily I am swayed.

I dressed with a little assistance by the concierge and waited for the hour to arrive. Mr. Thoughtful showed up on time before our pictures, and we enjoyed a hug, a glass of wine, small talk - my mood was quite definitely on the upswing now! We were ready and headed down to the beach, where we received some cheers, best wishes and good thoughts all around from strangers. Pictures were done in as painless a fashion as possible, and we briskly headed to the beach as the ceremony was timed to the minute to coincide with the sunset.

Me in my big old white inappropriate cottonball ballgown and he in his dark suit with beautiful long tie stood hand in hand on a warm, breezy beach at the end of an unremarkable day to "join in holy matrimony" in a ceremony punctuated with a few readings and a poem I had picked out, surprised by the clergy with a passage he thought he could not include but cleverly did, which made me cry... It was a slow, simple verse about growing old together. It made me emotional as I had always thought it beautiful, so appropriate for a wedding, but probably not ours as, sadly, I could not say that I thought it would come true for us. In fact, in just a very, very brief period of time, I would have an exclamation point added to my inkling that I knew it never would...

YESTERDAY/TODAY:
Well, open house was Sunday and had a few lookers, but it has been 2 days and no word, so obviously no takers. I just wish some nice family with a lot of teenagers or almost-teenagers would buy it, if for no other reason than it needs a family to love it. Im starting to feel bad for my redheaded stepsister of a home that no one wants. I will be moving out Baby N's room today from the big house. I also did some beading yesterday and had almost a full day of work, which was nice for a change as the money situation continues on the decline. A family member (teehee)locked her keys in her car, so I had a quick trip out of town to help out yesterday morning, which was a nice way to break up my boring day.

MOOD:
Optimistic, good, even though it is gloomy and rainy out. Maybe at the time I start to discuss the downturn in my marriage, things will take an upturn in my life now, the yin to my yang! I can only hope!