7 - Happy news....and timing.

6/26/09

I wish I could say things improved; they did not.

After my month reprieve from my marriage and my newly minted play-life, I was used to being home. I had to stay at my own house for the whole month as the National Guard would not allow me back to our house in his state. Not that I tried hard to gain entrance. There was no running water, electricity, working kitchen, pool cage, love, respect, happiness. LOL! Well, not really something you laugh about, but I was just fine not to go back and put on a front, playing house when it felt like prison. So, I very much took advantage of seeing my family and friends and working where I was comfortable, continuing my marriage from afar, hunkering down once again into an independent, comfy, muscle-memory existence - circle the wagons, home to roost. So, he took care of his house that we so lovingly remodeled that immediately was shred by Mother Nature, a sinister boys clubhouse message to me of STAY OUT! No prob, Mom! This is segregation Ill be happy to oblige!

After that great month, I did return, did as I was told/expected and resumed my spot as the pepper to Mr. Salty, perched in my bland relationship. So we went back to the day-to-day that we had started, only this time surrounded by repairmen, insurance papers and regional devastation, the talk of the gym, every newscast, and each family dinner we attended, ad nauseam. I didnt care and I was sick of pretending that I did. I just wanted to go home.

A month or so later on a return trip back to my home, I was unexpectedly blessed with amazing otherwordly news - a percolating grandchild, one very much wanted, never expected, totally all-encompassing words that only happens once in a mothers lifetime, that grandparenthood is approaching, all bets are off, your life is changing, softening, happily, and you better be ready to make some life-changing, life-settling decisions as you only get a first grandchild once. The news caught me totally off-guard, creeping up slyly from behind and wrapping me in an embrace you hope never ends, satisfying a mothers need she never realized she had, but had nonetheless, possibly her whole life. It can not be replicated, nor should it be.

I knew then that I had no decision to make. That is a decision that is made for you; its called instinct and theres no fighting it, not that I wanted to - as I most definitely did not. I was coming home...the question was when.

You see, timing is everything...

TODAY:
Im not working today. Its been a tough work time for me, as it is for the majority of Americans in this economy. There is not enough work for the hours that I am required to put in and the pay is retreating, although I do appreciate the small raise I received once I requested it this week. I do love my job, my company, my superiors, but...Ive got new business ideas I am trying to assemble. Slowly those puzzle pieces are coming together - but not quite fast enough for my impatient, stomp-your-foot, 2-year-old-tantrum self. I wish the house would sell so money would no longer be a question mark on the business plan. We did have 2 showings this week, but so far nothing further. There is an open house this weekend, so I am praying already. Im taking a short trip with an old friend this weekend (well, the friend is not old - teehee) that I am looking forward to. I am hoping to get some good pictures and find a few shopping treasures! - if the weather that is supposed to be nearing the century mark cooperates and the rain stays away long enough to enjoy. This will be my first visit to a Bed and Breakfast, and I doubt I should have waited until I was 45 to try one on for size!

MOOD:
Im having a sad day. At least it is today, the day BEFORE my short vacation. I wrote earlier that I hate these boxes of sad in between my better moods and my happier days. I wish they would start to make themselves scarce. They are the commas in my run-on sentences, and I was told they are mostly a girl thing. Boys have all the luck...