4/22/09
Well, the bad day retreated quickly, thank goodness! It was just one day, a long day nonetheless, but still just one. Its difficult when you are in the middle of it. It seems to add on, to never end. I always just try to get the heck through it, which I obviously did. Yesterday was just so much better, unexpectedly full and peaceful and happy. Odd what a difference 24 hours can make. For the next bad day, I will have this day to remind myself to just hang in there.
My perfect grandson (13 months old) is a dancing FOOL! A-dorable. He dances to all music: TV commercials, my cell phone text message jingle, any tune from any where. He "plays" my piano and bounces around and wiggles his head as he is banging away. I would love to see every day in the amazingly perfect way that he hears that concerto he plays! He is in heaven with his own music! I so wish I had that in me, to be able to just dig down to some happy place. I wonder when you lose that? - The natural reaction of joy to things, the ability to be happy at the hammering of piano keys or any small thing. I just know that his happiness seems so simple while my bad day seemed so overwhelming.
They quote the divorce rate now as about 58%. So, at any given time, almost 3/5 of adult Americans have experienced or are going thru a divorce. That means that 60% of this country's kids are dealing with that as well. How sad is that? So, across this great land, at the same time as I was having a bad day on Monday, millions of others were probably having the same rotten day. Thats a lot of grumpy people. I personally dont know a single one, so I am using this blog to commiserate, with myself, I guess!
Im not sure what sets it off. This morning I again woke up to no work, but it just did not strike me quite like it did the other day. I wish I knew the trigger. Maybe that is the key, not knowing the trigger, having to experience the bad to mirror the good, learning the lesson the grouchy days teach. I am hoping my bad days are that lesson, a definite thing to remember on those days Im longing to be in a relationship or have a significant other or just being envious of others who are coupled up, dueted, paired.
I can say that at a time DH2 and I were on a break for an extended period (we had a few of those) I can remember being in the airport going on a trip and just sitting in awe at all the couples in the airport. Does no one travel alone but me? Good gosh, it seemed like every tall leggy girl with just that perfect travel outfit and that teeny-tiny pulled carry-on (How DO people get away with packing so lightly? -Just my different colored flip flops would never fit in 1 of those babys!) was holding the hand of some equally tall, polo-shirted, beautifully tanned male. Do they multiply just at the airport, just for my benefit? They were everywhere! A swarm of twinned-up Stepford couples. Just like a woman longing to have a baby is haunted by seeing pregnant women everywhere, I only saw couples. Well, come Friday of this week, I will be heading off to Vegas and I am not looking forward to the coming airport experience.
But, I am anxious to go, ready to do something fun, eager to see my family, a place I once called home, a familiar place though also a place with so many things to do I am hoping I will have 2 weeks of mind-numbingly busy bliss! I am hauling out my steel rods (for my back) and my rose-colored glasses and heading to the airport in a few days, and hopefully a single person or two will actually head there as well, if for no other reason than to start MY trip off on a better note - self-absorbed much????
TODAY:
Well, its 6:30 am, so not much has happened. Yesterday was the broker open for the for-sale big house, and only 2 brokers showed up. They were serving lunch and everything. The two that showed thought the house was staged. Whatev!! So I keep a clean and tidy house, sue me. Now IIIII have to drive there tomorrow to check to make sure everything is good for this Sundays public open house. One more thing to do so that DH2 can pocket some $$$$. (Yes, I am giving him the proceeds.) But, I am going to get my hair highlighted as well after work, and it will settle my mind before vacation to know it is all in tip-top shape. Plus, yesterday I got to see Baby N for a couple hours, which was pure heaven, saw my son, visited with my dad, emailed, text, finished all the laundry, worked on my floors, worked, and hopped back up on the treadmill for a few miles. No WAY was I leaving any time for another bad day to sneak its way in.
MOOD:
Great actually. HA! Take THAT, bad day!
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