2 -How It All Began...

4/09/09

Starting today, Im going to start my regular format: First, Ill ramble for a while in journal form, filling you in on my journey, updating facts, whining, ranting, venting, crying, laughing by myself, for myself, AT myself or just plain letting the words flow. Then, at the end I am hoping to add a TODAY section, letting you know how I handled today or anything concrete I actually did. Ready? And-a here-we-go...

So, DH2 (Dear Husband #2) slowly and deliberately swept me off my feet. At first, I was truly unsure, still very much engrossed in my 20+ year marriage and also still very much engrossed in the actual physical steps a divorce takes (as I was still in the process of divorcing DH1). Plus, I had 2 teenage kids to keep in mind, 1 in HS and 1 just beginning JR college. DH2 kept up a daily barrage of phone calls, cards, gifts, thoughtful tokens so unexpected from what I had ever known that the slow wrapping of the spiders web went pretty much unnoticed by me. I was preoccupied with the sad death of a life/the idea of my "Cleaver Family" while the silk slowly built up around me, as warm and comfortably sinful as anything I had ever felt. One key fact about DH2 that should have hit me like an airbag in a head-on but, of course, did not was that he was 40+ and never married. Well,well,well...how'd that pass me by? There was also a heckofalotta partying happening by him in this long-distance relationship. Oh, wait....forgot to tell you that part: DH2 lived 1500 miles away!!! Small, teeny-tiny fact I musta forgot to mention. So, yes, not only was I being lavished with attention, I never really got the chance to be annoyed by his bad habits, be smothered by spending too much time together or even seeing if he picked up his dirty clothes/regularly purged his fridge of rancid leftovers/was nice to the people he worked with....because we. lived. in. different. states. HA! How conveeeeeenient!

So, right from the beginning our relationship was filled with travel, vacations, time away, and, thus, lots-o-fun! I think we spent more money traveling and vacationing together that first year than most middle class workers bring home in a year laden with overtime. Dumb, looking back, especially in this economy, but the truth nonetheless.

So, how did we get to know each other? I guess we really didnt. We had known each other from the time I was about 13 years old (my next blog) but we did not really KNOW each other. We spent too much time having fun. He was nice, vane, newly slim and courting me with all he had, while I was preoccupied, a little snotty, with a little bit of unexpected new freedom at this particular time in my life and willing to be courted with all he had.

I loved the attention, I loved living like we could afford to be lavish, I loved being loved, and I loved falling in love....I was learning to adore him.

And so it began...

TODAY:
Today the joint house was listed. Signs are in the yard and a broker tour is scheduled for about 10 days from now. I cant file for divorce uncontested (and thus save the money that would go to an attorney) if we own anything together, so the house is listed. I love this house and will miss it, but I have to quit controlling things and let them happen and pray that things will work out. I also worked a full day, talked to my kids via txt, txt some friends, sent notes to 2 families that are dealing with the death of a loved one, made tentative plans to visit a friend who is going to help me with a business plan, and started to look for plane tix to travel to see my mom, nieces and nephew in the next month or so. To get through it - you need to plan, plan, plan things and stay busy.