1 - Happy May Day!

5/01/09

Wow. Incredible how time just gets away from you. I woke up to work this AM, and when I pulled up my first file, the fifth month of the year was staring me in the face. Happy, because with May comes the (April showers bring May) flowers and increasingly beautiful weather and the ability to spend most of my time outside, but scary, as in time just keeps chugging down the ever-winding train track of what-the-hecks-around-the-next-bend.

May Day brings with it 2 things that I recall as a wide-eyed kid, the first being the May Basket. You know, as a kid you would fill it up with treats and leave them on your friends or neighbors doorstep and do the "only time its not grounds for grounding" ding-dong ditch? When my kids were little we always did popcorn and MandMs, lollies I think, possibly the old fashioned Bazooka Pepto-Bismol pink gum with the folded waxy-paper comic protecting it from the outside world even though it was probably used by NASA as an indestructible material for fixing space station emergencies itself. Those treats we always tucked inside a red Solo plastic cup. I have no idea why, but that is how we did it. So this year I am very much hoping my May Day basket is filled with some calm and some really fun distractions and a sold house! Oh, and Ill take some gum too.

The other thing that pops into my mind is that dang Maypole with all the ribbons attached, all the people hanging onto an end and dancing around and circling it until the top starts weaving the ribbons prettily with a crisscross pattern and the people get closer together until the whole pole is covered with a pretty-patterned design of silky strands and all the people are huddled at the bottom, laughing, probably stinkin happy to be done skipping around that dang pole, yet happy nonetheless. How I WISH my life was that pole, all wrapped up like a happy package with the people in close proximity giddy with pleasure and accomplishment. Fat chance, Elle!!!

After our breakup and exchanging back of all our material goods, it very much felt like a fresh start for me. I was pretty happy, oddly. My rebound and only significant other since the ending of my 20+ year marriage was out of the way and this chicky was ready to enjoy the single life. I was still working out and very much in shape and had made many friends at the gym. My job was going well and I was making good money, and as my daughter liked to put it, I was "almost cocky about that." She was correct! Once word got out in my small community that my significant outer was out of the picture, a few straggling calls began to come in, although I certainly was not bombarded - People who wanted to set me up on a date with their brother-in-law, boss, friend of the family, karate instructor, local homeless man (but sooooo nice!) or the rare someone who was brave enough to call an old gal for a Saturday night dinner. At first I said no, no thanks, Im good, but thanks for asking. I think at that time I was enjoying the less scheduled demands on my time, the ability to watch Jeopardy! and yell out the answers like an idiot in my own home (oh, yes my answers are mostly embarrassingly wrong too). I love my house, paid for, comfortable size, home-y, cute as a button. So, I really put my mind to updating it. I ripped up carpet, ignored phone calls for dates, screwed down plywood underlayment, changed light fixtures, laid tile and flooring, mowed the lawn and worked in the yard, painted, primped and bejeweled my home until I was exhausted. I once had a phone call asking if I wanted to steal away for a quick drink with a particularly handsome gentleman, to which I replied, "I cant! Im pulling staples out of my floor!" I was enjoying it immensely. I was spending time with my family and friends and not-taking a phone call every day...

Okay, yes, it was DH2. Here is another instance (beeeep, beeeep, beeeep - slowly elevate antenna) I should have been in touch enough with my life to catch or at least use this information with more clarity. My DH2 called me every day starting just a few days after we broke up. He called daily. Every. Single. Day. For months. At first I was mildly annoyed, thinking he needed something or was having a sad day. I never answered, but I honestly felt bad for him. My heart was a little tender anyway, and I did feel torn about not taking his calls. I would check my email to make sure he was not calling b/c he needed something important, a sick family member, surgery, nuclear invasion...I dunno what I thought it might be. Then, the pattern just continued that way, every day. I would get a phone call on my cell phone, and he mostly left a short message. I NEVER listen to my voicemail, ever, so he knew he could say whatever he wanted and I would never hear it but still know he would still be there, in my phone, niggling in my mind, entrenched in a small pocket of my soul. As time passed, I began to label him "the stalker." He wasnt a stalker in a mean or scary sense, just - get the picture buddy! Im NEVER going to answer your call! But the calls continued day in and day out. I would be laying tile and he would call. I would be on a date and he would call. I would have friends stay the weekend and he would call. I would be at the movies, eating dinner, mowing the lawn, and he would call. So, since it was so common and happened every day, most of my family and close friends also labeled him "the stalker." Quite funny in a sad way. Kind of like The Hulk or The Mole or The Blob, they all knew him by name but called him only The Stalker....

TODAY:
Well, its morning and I am on vacay, but I have been working (insert pouty face here). Never a break for the poor and panicked! Weve been eating out, eating in, trying new beers, gambling (a little), enjoying family, looking at houses, catching up. The for-sale house had another broken open, and our agent says the house shows perfectly, just a crappy market. Weve had 9 groups through, but still no offer. Not sure what the next step is. Baby N is doing well from what I gather and is being sheltered due to this scary swine flu. Someone told me I should not fly home; people are so scared. Ive also become thoroughly obsessed of late with the Gosselin Family (Jon and Kate Plus 8 on TLC) but only the bad rumor part of them. I have seen their show, but am so rooting for the kids in this stupid stupidness of cheating and money-hungriness, that I seem to check in on them every day online! I know, right.... Ugh!

MOOD: Calm and a little bored. Happy for no drama, wish I could actually have a vacay and not work. Oh well, I am luckier than most in this economy and I do say a thankful prayer every day.