11 - The Plan

5/23/09

So, over the next few short months between quasi-proposal (me to him, online), these things occurred:

* We actually spoke on the phone. Small, SMALL details!!
* I put the ring back on my finger (very unceremoniously, I might add).
* We set a date and time for our wedding.
* I made arrangements for hotel, ceremony, officiant, hair, makeup, decorations, dinner, cake, transportation, wardrobe, pictures, records, application...well, you get the idea.
* He vetoed may already purchased destination wedding gown, which was strapless, straight with a trumpet-y mermaid bottom, barely sweep train. He did not see the actual dress but was distressed as he had never been married and he wanted me in a "gown." You know, the big ballroom, glittery-glitz of a gown reserved for the younger set, someone less than 40 and with less than 40 years of wrinkles. So, I set about to buy a big old marshmallow puff of a dress, long chapel train, spock-ly!! - to make him happy. I figured no one would be there but us, so why sweat the small stuff. (This also began my obsession with wedding gowns, just not my own.)
* He bought a dark suit.
* We battled his family over everything. As you recall, when we first were going to be married before the breakup, his family gave every excuse under the sun why they could not be there. THIS time we had decided that no one would be there but us - less stress for us, less fighting amongst his family. Of course, they did not take this lying down. They gave us grief for 1) not asking them to the ceremony even though there was no way they were going to be available - BUT STILL!, 2) that we were near them geographically but were not inviting them, 3) that they could not believe that DH2 was not going to have his mother at his wedding, not even if it was to stand up on the pier and watch from afar (gag me), 4) that we did not include them or their children in the ceremony, 5) that he chose me. Now, that one, #5, I can understand, but it wasnt like he looked down the mile-long line of hopefuls and chose me, eeny-meeny-miny-moe. Come on! He'd been around for almost half a decade and had never been married or engaged. Give me a freakin break people!
* Last but not least, I made the decision to move all those miles from home, to his state, to live. Oh, just shoot me know, thinking back on this. My poor, poor adult children. They had to have been tapping their foot, looking at their watches, thinking - Wonder how long this will last.

So, as we dealt with his ever-fake family, the plans were made and the day approached.

TODAY:
I am very much having a depressed day. I think it is b/c it is the holiday weekend and I am just kind of working and lounging and I should get the heck up off my arse. I did plant flowers today and worked and got my oil changed and looked at furniture, but I feel like I did nothing. Im back to trying to figure out how to fill my time and feel 1) not broke, 2) productive, 3) happy again.

MOOD:
"Please tell me it will be okay."