5/5/09
Happy Cinco de Mayo!
I am not Hispanic, but Ill celebrate! Its not right to pass up an excuse to enjoy your day, right?
Well, my DH2, AKA stalker, stalked me incessantly while I continued to not-take his calls. He would call at different times and sometimes leave a voicemail and sometimes not, although he called every stinkin day. I was forever waiting for him to miss a day, illness, emergency, low battery? No, never happened. This began very early in the year and went the whole year, continuously month after long annoying month. I hate the phone and usually only txt with all my family and friends, so his often was the only ring of the day. I learned to change my ringtone occasionally to avoid aggravation overload.
During this time, I did date some. I really did not want to. I dated an old high school flame - a really nice-looking guy with a good profession. I seemed to find fault in him from day 1. I would see him and all I could think was...you wear the waist of your jeans to HIGH! I know. I KNOW! Dumb, but they were and it bugged me. He was so nice. He helped me with my golf swing. We went for dinner and cocktails and shared glasses of wine and long talks embedded with a hint of talk of the future. My children very much thought this was a GREAT relationship, a great guy, perfect for me! Too bad I did not get the memo from the livehappilyeverafter department on that one. I dated a few others, talked online, did my boring daily activities and continued on with my life. And the DH2 calls continued.
Im not sure why I get bored so easily, but I do. Maybe a little adult ADHD? Maybe stupidity? Quite possibly stupidity actually! I went almost that whole year hearing the phone ring, looking at the caller ID, ignoring it. I really did, I swear! I was a good girl! But, ultimately, I finished most of my projects, the weather was cooling down, and inane boredom seeped into my pores. I need a suit of armor, honestly.
I cant tell you exactly when it happened, but sometime late in that year, probably around October/November, I began glancing at my phone screen if it was late in the day and my stalker had not called. Or I would hear my cell phone tweet and automatically expect it to be him. It dawned on me one day that I was doing that. I thought I might step back and analyze (shock, shock) this sudden unexpected expectation, getting into a weird routine of being stalked via mobile electronics! So, I thought maybe, just maybe there were some feelings left for this guy. Yes, I told you I am competitive and have this thing about trying to make things work, to hang on to the bitter end. This obviously was no exception. With my 3-day rule firmly implanted in the wiring in my lame-brain, I thought I would go above and beyond that one for myself. I thought: If in 6 weeks you still feel the same, that maybe there is a glimmer of hope for this relationship, that just maybe you would be willing to give it another whirl, then I would allow myself to answer a call, just 1, to see what he had to say. I figuratively marked that calendar in my psyche at exactly 6 weeks, and then firmly and with resolve shut the file drawer. The 6-week wait was on, and I continued on in my dull and daily routine as if I had not 1 shred of a thought of him on my mind....
TODAY:
I have a friend who gave me some good advice today: You are on vacation - relax! Well, well. Never thought of that! Ive been trying to fill my days with fun stuff, and now just a few days before vacation is over, I havent really relaxed at all, although I have devoured about a dozen donuts! So, today I relaxed, I worked, read, browsed the net, wrote, watched a whole bunch a HULU and turned down every offer to go out for the day. How fun! Ill have to do this more often. I am quite homesick, missing my kids and my family and my Baby N, that precious child. I cant wait to see them all. Tomorrow is another broker open house, hoping beyond hope that a new agent will have an eager buyer. Ha! Good luck there!
MOOD:
RELAXED!!
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